The Story so far,,,,,,,,,,,, After a successful interview last week our hero was telephoned by a company conducting a security check after the interview, they stated they wanted the dates that I claimed benefit since being dumped by the CAB March 2012. I tried to explain to them that at present I was attempting to bring down ISIS armed with a packet of wet wipes and a book of Jimmy Carr one liners,,, they couldn’t possibly ask me to do something as pointless as telephoning the DWP in the hope of speaking to a human being rather than an automated response
Nevertheless, I had to try, let me try to explain what calling the DWP is like after the complete balls up by IDS and McVile, I rang the number,after @ 30 seconds ringing I got to an automated message “Thank you for calling” then 60 seconds telling me that it may be cheaper not to ring the 0845 number,,,,, err thanks love you just cost me a couple of quid ringing the only number on the website telling me it’d be cheaper not to ring?????? anyway eventually I got “Please let us know what you need” ” I had an interview I need the dates I claimed confirming” “Sorry this is not related, do you have a benefit inquiry?” “No I just need a letter” “Is the request related to benefits/” “Yes” “Please ring the benefit enquiry line on ***********” Now I’m not sure where the software comes for this automated response service, but it’s very similar to those on take a way drive through, you know the ones whereby you clearly state what you want, yet they get it wrong, but if you hold your nose,cover your mouth and say “mumble,mumble,mumble” you get exactly what you want Anyway I rang the benefit number given, another 60 seconds telling me how I could save money by not ringing an 0845 number when it’s the one given by them, then I got through to the same person/computer “Thank you for calling the DWP please state the reason for your call” ” I need a letter blah blah” “Please ring *************” IT WAS THE SAME BLOODY NUMBER I RANG BEFORE TELLING ME TO RING THE BENEFIT LINE!!!! So I lost it “You Mother£$%%^!!!!&&!!!!!!!” I shouted 2 hrs later I had a double bacon cheeseburger fries and diet coke delivered?????? Anyway I decided to bite the bullet and call into a JCP today,,, so at the crack of dawn, armed only with my wit charm and a large rubber fish I ventured into the gates of Hell!!!
“Can I help you” “Yes, interview,,,,,,went well etc,,,,,need letter security etc” !Sorry we’ve never been asked for that before” “Sorry are you telling me you can’t raise 3 dates on your system from 2012????” “Please write your details and I’ll ask” I then heard mumbling “No we can’t give that info for a bank account” “I’m sorry it’s not for a bank account, I have a bank account, it’s a security check for a bank” Eventually I sat down, “I’m sorry out software doesn’t go back that far” “What to 2012???” “Yes” “So you’re telling me you can’t get 3 dates within the last 3 yrs on your computers that IDS has spent millions updating the system on???” Now don’t get me wrong I could clearly see that the lady I was speaking to was a s frustrated by this as I was and what happened next I can’t thank her enough for, but still cannot believe “What I’ll have to do is print out every date you signed on,then we’ll have to check through and see the gaps!!!!” 8 pages later 3 of use were going through MY records to get confirmation of 3 dates I signed on that I actually knew but they wouldn’t sign anything until it was confirmed WELL DONE IDS and McVEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a total balls up